Sunday, August 10, 2014

Relaxing Today

I had "girls night" with the ladies from our Sunday School Class.  It  was great as always.  I really enjoy sitting down and chatting with everyone.  The ladies in my class are all close  Maggie spent the night with a friend so I was home alone last night.  I slept until 10 am when the child came home long enough to change clothes and go somewhere else with her friend and her family.  So I am having a relaxing morning, enjoying my coffee and puttering around on the computer.  I have managed to clean both bathrooms with the exception of the floors, which will be done by lunch time.  Then I will tackle one room at a time until the house is clean. Hopefully Maggie will be home at some point to help with the cleaning.  Yes, I knot, I said Relaxing, but that's what I'm doing.  Cleaning is not bad for me.  I'm doing it on my time instead of rushing to get everything done in a rush so I am relaxing.

On the knitting front, I am going slow but steady.  I have completed my Lefty shawl, completely in love with it and will definitely make another one!  My Nymphedelia shawl is coming along.  I am also working on a blanket for a friend's little girls to share with mommy, for when they are reading stories or just snuggling.  when I get that blanket done then I will be making one for her sons and husband too.  My office cardi has taken a back seat for now but it will be picked up and finished before long.  My tank is hibernating right now, I don't like the pleats in it so I have put it aside for now.  I did find a pattern for the beautiful lace yarn I purchased from FO & Dye.  It's called No Fuss Shade Loving Shawl.  Looks like it's fairly simple.  I have lots of other things in my que that need to be worked on but I'll get to them soon.

Maggie starts school soon.  Thankfully my sil and her friends mom have offered to keep her after school until I get off from work.  I have bought her school supplies and some clothes.  I will have to buy her some jeans later on.  She's still growing so I figured I would wait until she needs them before I buy them.

Well, I'm off.  Going to go get a second cup of coffee and get back to cleaning.  I hope all of you have a blessed weekend.

***Up Coming***
I will be redoing Maggie's room and making it into my craft room and she will be moving into her sister's room.  She

Sad Weekend Revelation

My eldest left home yesterday, she's moving 6 1/2 hours away from us.  It's sad.  I am happy for her and it's time for her to start her own life but she's been my companion since Mitch died.  She helped me with stuff that needed done and I could talk to her like an adult and tell her things that I cannot share with my youngest.  It was nice.  Now, I am back to being a single parent with a child.  I never dreamed I would be here again.  I was, just this, when I met Mitch, a single parent struggling to make ends meet.  Who would have thought that 13 years after we married, I would be back in the same position again?  It's scarey and daunting and sad.  Then I stop to think that it'll be just me in 6 short years when she graduates from high school.  I have the feeling that my life will be over.  Where do I go without having a husband or a child to care for.  Then I think it will be an opprotunity to start over.  To move, start a new career, fall in love again.  Do something I've always dreamed of doing.  I would love to something new!  To grow outside my box, be someone different, do something, create something, BE something.  When I look at my life I find it defined by my roles, rather than who I am.  I am defined as a mother, a wife/widow, daughter, an employee, a sister.  There is so much more to me that I want people to see.  To define me by what I do, who I am, and the roles I fulfill. 

These lyrics stand out to me right now:

By Tenth Avenue North

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.

I am being remade.  The potter has put me back into the furnace to refine me further, so I can serve His purpose.  The trials we face and the things we learn during them are what God uses to make us better for His use.  We were, after all, made for His pleasure.    When people think of me, I not only want to be thought of as a loving wife who lost her beloved husband, or a mother to two beautiful girls, I want to be thought of as someone who cared for people and showed compassion, a creative person in so many ways and using her gifts to help those that the Lord leads her to help.  I want to be know as one who gives freely of her time and money for others. 

God gave me so much when he blessed me with my children and my husband and yes He took my husband for His own reasons.  I am not mad though.  Through all of the agony of what has happened, my constant prayer has been thank you Lord.

We were talking in Sundays School about joy in the trials.  I don't have joy, I have peace.  My ss teacher asked me what would happen to me if I didn't have that peace and I said I don't know.  He asked me if I would kill myself, I said I don't know, he asked me if I was scared of what would happen if I didn't have the Lord giving me  His peace and I said yes.  I am frightened of what would have happened if I hadn't had my faith and the peace given to me.  My constant prayer Thank You Lord!

 There  is a reason for what happened, and maybe some day I will be able to ask the Lord the purpose.  But in all honestly, it doesn't matter.  Everything done is done for the Glory of God!

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Finished Project

I know I have been promising pictures of projects and I finally have one to post.  Here is my Leftie, I still have to weave in some ends but I'm very happy with it.  Excuse the picture, it was taken late at night and I was tired!


Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Ramblings

I think I've mentioned a new addition to our family, a little calico kitten named Poppy.  She is the sweetest thing and she's a talker.  She squeeks, chirps, and growls.  She has fit into our little family very well, she adjusted to Samson and Winston and plays with them a lot.  It's funny to see Samson, who is a BIG cat, not fat, he's BIG, chasing this little tiny petite kitten through the house, but, she loves it.  Last night she decided she wanted to sleep on me.  Samson does the same thing, he will, when I am on my side, lay in the curve of my body with his head on my shoulder.  Poppy did that last night and I could feel her tail curving around my back.  It was so sweet and she lulled me to sleep.  Simple things in life that need to be appreciated.

My computer issues abound.  It's so funny.  Get my laptop and get ready to get back on line and I lose internet connection.  They were giving me a hard time about fixing it so, I told them to disconnect the service and my home phone.  I went through my cell company and they are cheaper!  I don't need a home phone, I have my cell and 2 gigs is only 19.99 so, that's what I did.  After having said all that, my internet time will be limited from now on.  But honestly, on the way to work I started thinking about how much time is sucked away by the computer.  I spend way too much time on the computer, hours every evening, playing games, watching videos, and just putzing around.  So, I think this is a good thing.  My youngest is not happy with me, she won't be able to stream videos anymore but neither will I.  I will have to reserve my video watching until I am somewhere with free wifi.  So, I think, it's a good thing.  I will have more time to do other things.  I will check my email, check facebook, and ravelry and blogger and then I'll be done for the night. 

On the crafting front, I have my niece's veil to finish, and bracelets for her bridesmaids to make and then I'm done with the wedding stuff.  I need to get started on her gift.  I'm making her pot holders, and wash clothes and table trivets for her gift.  And I have a newsboy cap to make for my grandmother.  She asked for one and of course I have to make it.

Well, time for me to begin my work day.  You guys have a blessed week and I'll post again later.

Friday, July 18, 2014

Back Online

Got my new computer and am back up and running.  Got a fab deal from Dell, a computer with a tablet for free.  Now I can take my tablet to work with me and watch my podcasts at lunch without being tied to my desk.  I am excited about that.  The new computer is going to take a little getting used to, I am a dino I like the old set up, this new opening screen is a little confusing. 

Unfortunately, I have not been knitting much.  There seems to be so much going on and so much to do, especially since the oldest has gone to Iowa.  I have to find someone to keep my youngest during the day and the house work and clothes and dishes don't do themselves.  She had really stepped up a lot to help after Mitch died.  It's going to be interesting to get everything done without her.  She will be home in a few weeks and then she's off to Mississippi.  I am sure gonna miss her.  She's just gotten fun and I could say things to her that I couldn't when she was younger and now she's leaving.

I am still searching for a job and praying about whether or not I should pick up and move closer to my parents are to Florida.  Honestly, I don't like living in Florida, I hate the heat so I don't know if I want to move down there again.  Feels kinda selfish to me because I am thinking of myself instead of my parents and my grandmother.  I'll have to think and pray more.

I hope this finds all of you well.  Have a great weekend.